Google Plus: Empire Wars
by chancellorxaeonx7
Summary: The All Powerful Enerjak, in his second form, acquires multiple allies in an effort to conquer the world. But their plans are soon halted as the reincarnation of a certain Fascist Fuhrer acquires an army of his own. It's a race against time to stop Rudolf von Shetler and his Raxus powers from Conquering Earth. But with the power of the arc on his side, can Von Shetler be stopped?
1. Chapter 1: The Mysterious Soldier

**Episode One: The Mysterious Soldier**

 **Location: Somewhere, Someplace, Sometime, in a small deliberation room.**

 _Trollerjak, the Troll incarnation of Enerjak is discussing his master plan to the other officers, Prime Minister Hamza Zahid, Army Coordinator Kaze, Tank Legion Lord Godzilla, Secret Police Chief Dillon, Chief Medic Gucci, and Propaganda Minister Joshua._

 **Trollerjak:** Alright, so now that we're all clear on the plan...

 **Godzilla:** Can you repeat that?

 **Everyone at once:** UGGGHH!

 **Godzilla:** What? I'm all the way up here, I can barely hear you.

 **Trollerjak:** Hamza, you remember the plan, right?

 **Hamza:** As army Commander, that is my duty.

 **Trollerjak:** Good. Explain it to him.

 **Hamza:** Alright. We take over NK, Then the unused parts of Russia, take China, and move all over Europe and Asia, from there we take over Africa, and move North to Canada. Do we HAAAVE to invade Canada?

 **Trollerjak:** Well they're nice people, right?

 **Hamza:** We have our share of rude people.

 **Dillon:** Ok, when do we catch political opponents?

 **Kaze:** And what about our fishing business? And will we leave Kats alone?

 **Gucci:** Why me... Oh well...

 _Gucci smiles as she pulls out a whoopie cushion._

 **Godzilla:** What about Japan?

 **Hamza:** Let's leave Pakistan alone too! In fact, we'll leave the entire mid-

 **Trollerjak:** **EVERYONE BE QUIET!** Hamza! Nobody cares about those countries. And we already agreed there would be freedom of religion.

 **Hamza:** But...

 **Trollerjak:** And Dillon! We will purge the commies, Nazis, and Cons, just as soon as we take them over!

 **Dillon:** Alright... Fine...

 **Trollerjak:** Kaze, you're not a Kat!

 **Kaze:** HIIISSSSSS! Oh hey is that a rat?!

 _Kaze chases the Rat._

 **Trollerjak:** Gucci, control your ass pranks!

 **Gucci:** Ha! You said a-

 **Trollerjak:** Shut the $ &# up Gucci!

 **Godzilla:** Well that was...

 **Trollerjak:** Don't even get me started on you...

 **Godzilla:** But Japan!

 **Trollerjak:** We will take all the anime...

 **Everyone at once:** No!

 **Trollerjak:** And watch it...

 _Everyone gasps_

 _Joshua walks in_

 **Joshua:** Sir, everyone outside is waiting for you, they're starting to riot!

 **Trollerjak:** Not if I have anything to say about it... Where the hell is Von Shetler

 **Joshua:** Sir, he's late.

 **Trollerjak:** Uggh, I don't have time for his late Bavarian ass!

 **Joshua:** Sir, he's Austrian

 **Trollerjak:** Who cares! They're all German!

 **Joshua:** Yes, but in two separate countries.

 **Trollerjak:** Well when I'm done with them. There won't be a Germany or an Austria. Only a Trollia...

 **Hamza:** Couldn't you come up with a better name?

 **Trollerjak:** Working on it Ham Boy.

* * *

 _ **Meanwhile, outside the deliberation room.**_

 **Soldier 1:** Where's the Emperor!

 **Soldier 2:** I bet he's a chicken!

 _Trollerjak jumps out from backstage in a rage._

 **Trollerjak:** WHO DARRESS CALL ME A CHICKEN?!

 _Total silence._

 _Then a soldier comes forward_

 **Soldier 2:** I did.

 _Trollerjak's face drops, clearly indicating he wasn't having any of it with the insubordinate soldier._

 **Trollerjak:** Prepare for execution. **KHAOS BEAM CANNON!**

 _A beam of Khaotic energy fires at the soldier, causing all light surround it to invert in color._

 _ **KAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

 _The smoke slowly clears, and everyone realizes in horror of what just happened._

 _The Soldier blocked the beam._

 **Hamza:** What the hell! What is that?

 **Kaze:** Everyone, get out your weapons!

 **Soldier 2:** Muahahaha...

 **Trollerjak:** Identify yourself!

 **Soldier 2:** My name is Adolf... Hitler

 _It took Trollerjak a few seconds, 5.698 to be exact to finally take in what just happened._

 **Trollerjak:** What!

 **Soldier 2:** But you can call me... Rudolf... Von Shetler

 **Hamza:** Naw... Hitler has the whole mini-stache.

 **Kaze:** And shorter

 **Dillon:** Not to mention more hideous. Even by Von Shetler's standards.

 **Godzilla:** RAAAAWWWWRR!

 **Trollerjak:** You said it GZ.

 **Von Shetler:** Piss off you guys!

 _Von Shetler pulls out his arms he used to block the blast, revealing a platinum Gaunlet._

 _Trollerjak immediately realizes what Von Shetler had on his arm._

 **Trollerjak:** The Gaunlet of the Arc? Where did you get that?

 **Von Shetler:** That's classified.

 **Trollerjak:** Not surprised, you totalitarian scum.

 **Von Shetler:** You say I'm a totalitarian, but... So are you.

 **Trollerjak:** Unlike you, I don't wish to conquer every aspect of people's lives. And I certainly don't want to wipe out the Jews. I mean, I NEED the theory of relativity to...

 **Von Shelter:** Conquer the world using atom bombs? Hahaha...

 _Von Shetler looks down with a smile on his face._

...I was the Chancellor of Germany under you... but now I wish to go further.

 **Trollerjak:** Let me guess... Fourth Reich

 **Von Shelter:** How the hell do you keep finding this out!

 **Joshua:** Quite obvious

 **Hamza:** Indeed

 **Kaze:** You're kinda obvious, or that's just my Kat sense.

 **Dillon:** Sir, may I purge the Nazis? It'll be so much fun...

 **Trollerjak:** What's you're plan then? You're surrounded by my greatest armed forces.

 _All of Trollerjak's forces pull out weapons against Von Shetler._

 **Von Shelter:** Very simple really. You see... I'm not actually here..

 **Trollerjak:** Oh really? Hi "not actually here".

 _The entire room bursts out laughing._

 _This angers the Fuhrer._

 **Von Shelter:** Stay with me. You see, I'm merely a holographic projection.

 **Trollerjak:** Then how...

 **Von Shelter:** My gaunlet is real though. That's how I'm projecting this message to you. As soon as this message is over, it will come back to me. You see... I'm challenging you to a duel. We will fight over control of Earth on all fronts. Winner rules the world. And the loser... Well... You'll find out...

 **Trollerjak:** Oh, really? You and what army?

 **Von Shelter:** It's very simple, really. All of Germany and Austria are now under my control.

 **Trollerjak:** No...

 **Von Shelter:** Yes...

 **Trollerjak:** No, I mean no, you won't win. I mean come on... Omnipotence?

 **Von Shelter:** I'm aware of this. But you won't risk wiping out an entire two countries. Not to mention, my gaunlet evensSo... Come and find me.

 **Trollerjak:** You're in Berlin, Germany.

 **Von Shelter:** No! You're not supposed to know that!

 **Trollerjak:** Seriously? It's either that, or Munich.

 **Von Shelter:** Just play along and listen! I'm going to attack North Korea. Can't stand those stupid Commies... $ &# Kim Jong Un.

 **Trollerjak:** So you wanna fight over it?

 **Von Shelter:** Of course, and before I forget, Italy and Japan are on my side. We call ourselves the Raxus powers.

 **Godzilla:** NOT MY HOME TOWN!

 **Von Shetler:** Indeed. Well, I must be going. Good luck. Even with your omnipotence, you'll need it...

 _Von Shetler disappears._

 **Trollerjak:** Well then... You heard him! We march on North Korea! And we will stop them from taking the world! You hear me!...

 _All soldiers cheer._

...We leave now! Troll Empire Troops, Let's go!

 _All Troops take off. Except for one._

 _The last officer leaves the deliberation room._

 **Gucci:** Uhh guys? Where are you guys?


	2. Chapter 2: Kim Jong NO! Part 1

**Episode Two: Kim Jong No Part 1**

 **Location: Nuremberg, Germany.**

 _The newly crowned Fuhrer of the Fourt Reich takes stage._

 **Von Shetler:** ... Und wir werden die Kommunisten Säuberung!

 **Nazi:** Und die Juden?!

 **Von Shetler:** Nun, sie sind aus Europa, also sind sie wirklich ein Problem? Ich habe gedacht... Die Trolle. SIEG HEIL!

 **Nazi party:** SIEG HEIL!

* * *

 **Location: Korean demilitarized zone**

 **NK Guard:** So let me get this straight, I let you through the gate, and you'll get my family out of the Gulag?

 **Trollerjak:** Of course, I mean, we'll be at Pyongyang within the hour! And we'll have Jim Kong Eww begging for mercy! In fact, I oughta teach him English, so he can beg for mercy in a language the audience can understand!

 **NK Guard:** He speaks a lot of languages... Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, English, Spanish, Russian, Swiss, German, French, many languages. The Kim dynasty is capable of many things. They're responsible for the creation of Hamburgers. They can make it rain on cue! They can..

 _Both Hamza and Trollerjak were clearly irritated at the brainwashing totalitarian propaganda._

 **Hamza:** We get it! Your so called king is a fraud.

 **NK Guard:** You speak lies, you capitalist scum.

 **Trollerjak:** 'Jimmy Congo Drums' is an egoistic feudalistic dictator. He had his power handed over by his father, just like a King would, and the only people with rights are his elites.

 _The guard fell to his knees, as if he found out the world was about to end tomorrow._

 **NK Guard:** My life... Just a lie... Why... WHY!

 _The guard begins to cry._

 **Hamza:** I see... Very interesting... You broke his will just by telling the obvious truth.

 _NK Guard doesn't stop crying_

 **Trollerjak:** Ok, this isn't going anywhere. Godzilla, fire.

 ** _Godzilla:_** RAAAAWWWRRR!

 _Godzilla shoots down the defensive walls, and blasts through the demilitarized zone._

 **Kaze:** The signal! CHARRGE!

 _The army charges through the Korean border, into North Korea._

 **One hour later...**

* * *

 **Location: Pyongyang, North Korea**

 **Fantom:** I already told you, I don't know where he is!

 **Kim:** Don't lie to Kim, Mr. Fantom Convoy. Those who lie to Kim Jong Un don't live very long.

 **Fantom:** Woah, woah, there. You do what?

 **Kim:** Wanna know what I did to one of my officers for sleeping on the job?

 **Fantom:** I'm pretty sure I don't...

 **NK Officer:** 선생님! 우리는 독일에 의해 공격을 받고 있어! 그리고 그는 혼돈의 하나님 생각 어떤 미친 바보!

 **Kim:** 그럼, 하지 않습니다 그냥 거기 서 서! 당신의 태권도 사용 하 여!

 _The prison wall breaks down._

 _Standing there was just one troll..._

 **Trollerjak:** Did someone say... Troll?

 **Kim:** You! You filthy capitalist! You're no match for the might of the Korean ar-

 **Trollerjak:** I bribed them to switch sides. Umad?

 _Trollerjak's face brightens up with a large troll smile._

 **Kim:** Uggh... As expected from a capitalist... Why can't you see the beauty! Communism is a beautiful system!

 **Trollerjak:** I know right?! Everyone having equal rights and wages, no unfair social classes, and above all, Vodka! Not that I can drink it... Because alcohol...

 **Kim:** Then why are you attacking me?!

 **Trollerjak:** Because one, I want to rule the Earth.

 **Fantom:** Dude! Why?

 **Trollerjak:** And two, your version of communism makes me think of that feudalist scum, King Louis XVI, eating an entire cake, you fat $ &#.

 **Fantom:** Language...

 **Kim:** How dare you insult me in my own pala- Oh my God I am a feudalist.

 _Suddenly the roof is blown up by a Luftwaffe pilot._

 _Out of the plane jumps out everyone's least likeable fascist Fuhrer._

 **Von Shetler:** Hello loser commies!

 _Trollerjak crosses his arms in displeasure._

 **Trollerjak:** Ahem... Socialist...

 _The prisoner steps out of the shadows._

 **Fantom:** Can someone tell me what's going on?

 **Kim:** That's my roof, you aristocratic scum! And you will pay for it, if it's the LAST THING YOU DO! Megaton 3.0 activate!

 _A giant red robot pops out of ground, and points it's giant gatling gun arm at Trollerjak._

 **Trollerjak:** Wait! Get Von Shetler, he destroyed your cieling!

 **Kim:** I hope you like nukes!

 _Von Shetler scratches his chin._

 **Von Shetler:** This is better than I thought...

 **Kim:** Now die!

 _Kim Jong Un presses the big red button._

 **Trollerjak:** You've gotta be kidding me...

 ** _To be Continued_**


	3. Chapter 3: Kim Jong NO! Part 2

**Episode Three: Kim Jong No: Part 2**

 **Location: Pyongyang, North Korea.**

 **Trollerjak:** You've gotta be kidding me... That's it? A nuke? Last week, I took the big bang to the face! TO THE FACE!

 _Trollerjak points to his own face in emphasis._

 _Kim merely scoffs._

 **Von Shetler:** I'm not even mad!

 **Kim:** I call bluff... Megaton 3.0, FIRE!

 _A beam of radiation strikes down Megaton 3.0._

 _Godzilla roars for victory._

 **Trollerjak:** Godzilla my good ol' friend...

 _Godzilla smiles_

 _The shippers go shipping_

 **Trollerjak:** I didn't need your help!

 **Shippers:** Aww...

 **Random Shipper:** They were about to kiss!

 **Trollerjak:** Will you all shut the hell up?! I don't need anyone's help!

 _Suddenly, a wild Kaze jumps off of Godzilla's head._

 **Kaze:** But maybe you need help from a Kat!

 **Random Shipper:** SHIIIIIIPPPING! My new OTP!

 **Trollerjak:** For the last time-

 **Kim:** Oh, did I forget to mention...

 **Trollerjak:** Oh God dammit.

 **Kaze:** See? Tolja!

 **Kim:** My robot has a healing factor.

 _Megaton 3.0 reincarnates itself, and gets back up off the ground, barely shaken by the radioactive heat on it's exterior._

 _Von Shetler claps in the background._

 **Von Shetler:** Impressive, you did mention this to me before, but this is amazing!

 **Kim:** Why thank you good sir.

 _Trollerjak was confused at their seemingly friendly gestures, until it hit him._

 _Kim didn't attack Von Shetler, only Trollerjak._

 _It was clear what was going on._

 **Trollerjak:** Wait, you guys are friends?

 **Von Shetler:** Goodness no, we just meet every year at dictator-con.

 **Trollerjak:** What? Why wasn't I invited?

 **Kim:** We only invite legitimate dictators, unlike you.

 _Bad move, Jong Un, Bad move indeed._

 **Hamza:** Uh oh...

 _Hamza attempts to find somewhere to hide._

 **Trollerjak:** What...

 **Dillon:** You Done $ &#ed up.

 _Dillon pulls up a chaos shield._

 **Trollerjak:** did...

 **Kaze:** Your funeral, not mine.

 _Kaze curls up into a ball like a cat, hoping to avoid the imminent mayhem._

 **Trollerjak:** You...

 **Gucci:** I made it you g- Oh wait... Why is Trollerjak on fire?

 **Joshua:** Everyone get down!

 _Joshua ducks for cover._

 **Trollerjak: SAAAYYY?!**

 **Von Shetler:** Are you mad?

 _Trollerjak's voice changes to a demonic voice._

 **Trollerjak:** I do the trolling around here!

 _Trollerjak grabs Von Shetler and Kim by the neck and presses their faces together._

 **Trollerjak:** Now kiss!

 **Von Shetler:** This is what it's like to be Ernst Röhm. I'm sorry, good friend, I misunderstood you!

* * *

 ** _Meanwhile in heaven..._**

 **Röhm:** Not like it matters now... $ &hole.

 **Trotsky:** You think you got it rough? I hid all the way in Mexico, and Big Joe still found me.

 **Röhm:** Shut up, nobody likes a communist.

 **Guevara:** Hahaha, no. My ol' pal Fidel is fighting down on Earth for it.

 **Mao:** Idiot...

 **Röhm:** Hey!

 **Trotsky:** He means me.

 **Mao:** I mean the both of you!

 **Röhm:** Wow, and I thought you scum got along.

 **Trotsky:** I was Stalin's rival, and he was his apprentice. Do the math.

 **Guevara:** Can we please not talk about him...

* * *

 ** _Back to the battle..._**

 _Von Shetler fires energy blast from his gaunlet._

 _Trollerjak snaps his fingers, creating barrier._

 **Kim:** You big oaf! You destroyed my grandfather's statue! Megaton, destroy him!

 _Godzilla charges at the giant robot._

 **Trollerjak:** Hey fatty!

 **Kim:** WHAT!

 **Trollerjak:** You responded... Hamza! Dillon! Let's finish these two!

 **Dillon & Hamza:** Right!

 **Von Shetler:** 3 against 2? Not very fair?

 **Trollerjak:** Oh no... They're just here to watch... CHAOS BLASTS!

 _Von Shetler and Kim are knocked back, but Von Shetler teleports away._

 **Trollerjak:** You guys... Finish him.

 **Kim:** No wait! I surrender!

 **Trollerjak:** Oh.. Ok. That was easy. What about you, Godzi- where's the robot?

 _Godzilla burps_

 **Kaze:** You don't wanna know...

 **Trollerjak:** I WAS GOING TO USE THOSE SPARE PARTS!

 **Godzilla:** (Fight me)

 **Trollerjak:** Maybe I will!

Fantom runs up to Godzilla and Trollerjak.

 **Fantom:** You guys! Violence solves nothing!

 **Trollerjak:** Wait, how did you get here?

 **Fantom:** I was kidnapped...

 **Trollerjak:** And you think peace talk would've gotten you out?

 **Fantom:** Maybe?

 **Trollerjak:** The world's most oppressive dictator?

 **Fantom:** Oh.. I see what you mean...

 **Trollerjak:** Exactly.

 **The End**


End file.
